Right, then...

I've been spending so much time roleplaying these past few months, between my beloved gargleblasted and pandoraheartsdr, that I barely remember how to write in my own skin, anymore. This, as you may guess, strikes me as... well... not very good. My head feels a bit like it's full of white noise. So, in an effort to clear that out, I'm stealing this list from beow11.

This is either a brilliant idea, or an astoundingly bad one.

Sometimes I don't know until everything's said and done.

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror.

So...

1. My Best Friend

And right here at the start, there's a difficult topic....I'm never good at picking a "best" thing to be held up above all others. (Truefax--I'm a polyamorist, an eclectic pagan, and the closest I ever get to naming a favorite book or movie is handing out a top ten list that I refuse to even try to rank.) For something--anything--to warrant the title of "best" with any seriousness, it would require a level of perfection that's simply not possible--or at least that I've never encountered--on this Earth. Everyone I consider a friend is a best friend for something. But I don't think there's anyone I hold as a best friend for everything.

I'm either being very rational, here, OR I'm neurotic, my standards are too high, and my trust issues too extensive. It's not easy to tell at four in the morning, so I will not rule that possibility out.

Off to a flying start, aren't we? /:-) May ETA after I've slept...

In which Litha dances around the subject.

I am not allowed to do anything involving RP or AIM today until I've gotten dressed, gone out and looked for a job, and eaten something. This, however, I can do.

2. My Crush

Looking over this list (now) there are things on it that will make me squirm a little bit to talk about. :-/ BUT one must.

*deep breath*

Okay, so. I'm weird about crushes, and I honestly don't even really like the word. It brings on visions of teenyboppers and high school, and various things that I never liked associating with myself even when I was the right age for it. It's entirely possible that I'm being pretentious, here, but I'd rather just say I'm attracted to a person.

I am incapable of being attracted to a person simply on the physical level. If there isn't something in their personality to keep my attention, I'm generally inclined to spare a look and go on my way, rather like walking through a museum. (Contrariwise, clouds and trees have gotten me hot and bothered, before, so... Um... Anyway...)

My crushes fall into three categories: fictional people, names on the computer screen, and people I know IRL. I can count the last kind of crush on one hand, and the second-to-last on two. (Note that celebrities--while there are a lot of them who are pretty to look at and whose careers I follow--do not crop up. There's no knowing what's truth and what's publicity about a celebrity.)

The first is by far the most common, with me, and will be the only one I go into detail over, being as I'm friended to nearly all of the people who do or once did qualify for the other two. :-P I suspect the frequency of my fictional crushes is because I tend to be very aware of the differences between fantasy and reality, and a crush tends to be based almost entirely in the realm of fantasy anyway. On top of that, we get to "know" fictional characters--particularly ones in books--in ways we never know real people. We get to see into their hearts and minds and watch them when no one's looking. I suppose this makes me a bit voyeuristic and stalkerish. :-?

*shrugs* It's not something I apply to RL.

I've also noticed that the fictional ones are nearly all male, nearly all have a certain amount of power, and are more often than not either a villain (Lord Darkness from Legend being my first crush ever) or a trickster (Xerxes Break from Pandora Hearts being the latest) or both (The only two that come to mind who weren't would be Drizzt Do'Urden and Aragorn, and both are from when I was much younger.) There's always a certain amount of darkness to them.

And about 75% of them have white hair and I have no idea why!!! It just happens, man!!! /:-{

With female fictional characters, I respect them, or want to be their friend, or want to protect them, but I hardly ever want to do any of them. This troubles me a bit. (Mind you, there are women in the other two categories--in point of fact my RL tastes are rather different from my fictional tastes in more ways than that.)

I'm just going to have to write one.

ANYWAY!

Enough procrastination. To the job hunt!