(no subject)

There are times, occasionally, when I have a conversation with a person, and it's as if I'm speaking some foreign language. It's always mildly off-putting, because it's as if there's been some kind of alchemy that happened to the words, once they've left my mouth or fingertips, and entered their brain that's changed their meaning. And then I realize I've struck upon some illusion they have.

It always turns my stomach, just a little. Especially when the person reacts badly, and, rather than letting the illusion go, makes it new by twisting things out of true in the opposite direction.

In Buddhism, there's this concept called Sunyata, which is commonly interpreted as "emptiness," though I think perhaps "freedom" hits a little closer. It means, more or less, seeing reality simply for what it is, empty of illusion. I feel a little closer to that "great void," today. Not for loss of the friend, because I don't believe I've lost one, and regardless of what they seem to have chosen to believe, they haven't lost me. It's for the loss of a little more of my own illusion.