KAMIKAZE PEANUT!

"Inside somewhere maybe I was screaming and weeping and howling like an animal, but that was another person deep inside, another person who had no access to the face and lips and mouth and head, so on the surface I just shrugged and smiled and kept moving." --Neil Gaiman, Bitter Grounds.

The other day I picked up Neil Gaiman's latest collection of short stories, Fragile Things, and I'm very very glad I did. Each story is like an exquisite, dark, alien jewel. I'm enjoying them immensely.

Have a meme.

01. I've come to realize that my butt: needs to get out more.
02. I've come to realize that when I talk: Southern Indiana is slooooowly creeping into my accent when I'm not careful... I must get out! I must get out now!!!
03. I've come to realize that if I love someone: it's never more than I love myself. But I think that's a good thing, probably, given that I have a pretty consistent record of loving hurtful people.
04. I've come to realize that I need: the company of others to keep me growing.
05. I've come to realize that I've lost: a lot of illusions, but still need to lose more.
06. I've come to realize that I hate it when: people assume things about me without verification.
07. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk: I'm dreaming. Once was enough, kthnxbai.
08. I've come to realize that money: is something I want a lot of, for the experiences, books. craft supplies and other such things that it allows me.
09. I've come to realize that my mother: is most likely crazy.
10. I've come to realize that I'll probably always be: a paradox.
11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on: :-P
12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried was: :-P
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone: is rather useful.
14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning: I don't; that's bedtime.
15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night: I don't; that's when I get up.
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about: how certain things that shouldn't translate to physical sensations tend to, for me.
17. I've come to realize that babies: are perfectly fine for other people, but I'm more the big sister/aunt type, and pretty darn good at it.
18. I've come to realize that when I get on livejournal: I usually wind up feeling a little happier.
19. I've come to realize that today I will: work on making a plush cat tail to match the ears I made for my little sister.
20. I've come to realize that tonight I will: probably play video games.
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will: need to get rice.
22. I've come to realize that I really want to: experience as much of life as possible, while I'm in it.
23. I've come to realize that who is most likely to repost this is: Hmmm, probably Emmay. We seem to have a habit of swapping memes. :-)
24. I've come to realize relationships: are complex organisms.
25. I've come to realize love: is nothing like the romance novels say, but that's a good thing.
26. I've come to realize my best guy friend: Is just as cool as ever.
27. I've come to realize my best girl friend: Is equally cool, and it will be a joy to live with the both of them.
28. I've come to realize food: is one of the great pleasures of life when it's done right.
29. I've come to realize that when I'm a boyfriend: I must have accidentally stepped into some strange alternate dimension. :-|
30. I've come to realize girls and boys: both have their perks.
31. I've come to realize over the summer: That I am really tired of living in the middle of nowhere.
32. I've come to realize heartbreak: is part of life and makes you stronger.

(no subject)

I was skimming over Kahlil Gibran's The Madman and found this passage interesting.

Here I sit between my brother the mountain and my sister the sea.

We three are one in loneliness, and the love that binds us together is deep and strong and strange. Nay, it is deeper than my sister's depth and stronger than my brother's strength, and stranger than the strangeness of my madness.

Aeons upon aeons have passed since the first grey dawn made us visible to one another; and though we have seen the birth and the fulness and the death of many worlds, we are still eager and young.

We are young and eager and yet we are mateless and unvisited, and though we lie in unbroken half embrace, we are uncomforted. And what comfort is there for controlled desire and unspent passion? Whence shall come the flaming god to warm my sister's bed? And what she-torrent shall quench my brother's fire? And who is the woman that shall command my heart?

In the stillness of the night my sister murmurs in her sleep the fire-god's unknown name, and my brother calls afar upon the cool and distant goddess. But upon whom I call in my sleep I know not.

......

Here I sit between my brother the mountain and my sister the sea. We three are one in loneliness, and the love that binds us together is deep and strong and strange. 

I don't think this pertains solely to the desire for a mate; Gibran probably chose that angle because it tends to be most people's idea of What Will Fulfill Them.  The point here--that is to say, what I think the point really is--makes me think, not just of the quote I started out last post with, but to the quip I made in the meme about needing the company of others to keep me growing.

It's not just for the company.  It's that, if you can find people you can trust not to project their own desires onto you (and in my experience, that's very very rare), an outside perspective can be invaluable.  

We know this, right?  It's a perspective I'm sure more than a few of us here are intimately aquainted with. It's just not always easy for us to realize what we aren't seeing in ourselves. True, in some ways nobody knows us like ourselves, being as we all have our secrets, but we even keep a few from ourselves.  Sometimes we're each a bit like a Seurat painting.  A little distance can make all the difference.

(no subject)

I bring you costumery!  Here are pics of the Kitsune ears and tail I made.  They don't really do the work justice (especially the one of my lovely, fluffy tail!), but still...

( Want to peek? )