Ramble and a movie.

Well, the date seems to be postponed for a few weeks. The bosses are going out of state for some sort of prayer festival sort of thing in Cincinnati. So, no days off for the Litha. Of course, that doesn't mean mischief couldn't be courted here. What's the use of a mouse being locked up in the lobby every night with the cats away without having a little fun? >:-)

My step-grandmother Nancy is visiting from California, and it's always a pleasure when she's around. We all went out for Chinese (is it bad when you consider going up for thirds just to get to use the chopsticks more?), then to the nearby Starbucks afterward. It was the first time I'd actually been in the one here, and I must admit they make a decent iced chai. I am also now the proud owner of a purse knitted from very fuzzy, sparkley, purple yarn, courtesy of her.

I've discovered quite a few interesting things in the course of my Japanese studies, and recently in the course of it all have made the aquaintance of a new (to me) god/dess. As an eclectic, I tend to choose my dieties with as much pickiness as I would a lover. (And with good reason, as sometimes the two have been known to overlap. Cernunnos and I have had a couple of wild nights together in our time. :-| Fortunately, none of the ones I've stuck with have been the jealous type.) But, I believe Inari and I are at the beginning of a beautiful relationship. ;-)

I've got Fur playing in the DVD player.  Very fond of this movie, I think because it seems to me to primarily be a film about the loss of illusions.  We have the character of Diane Arbus, living the illusion of a perfect life, herself clothed in the layers of illusion that are so often projected onto us and accepted by us because we've been trained from birth to believe that they are all we can be.  Dutiful daughter, obediant wife, normal.  (Mind you, though, I don't see it as a feminist movie, per se; we've all got illusions and misconceptions thrust upon us that must be stripped away (or at the least disreguarded) if we are to live our lives truly.  In this instance, the main character just happens to be a woman dealing with the traditional roles a woman is expected to be fulfilled by.)   She has lived her entire life on other people's terms, is acutely aware of it, and is suffocating.

We see her at a party thrown by her fur mogul father, and through a series of shots we view the crowd through her eyes.  One feels that, having a sheltered life and an observant, adventurous disposition, she cannot help but note the variety in the mundane, the freakish and vaguely repulsive within the everyday.  As such, when she meets the character of Lionel--who has, himself, had to deal with far more pronounced misconceptions due to his appearance--Diane is able to eagerly be guided out of her cookie-cutter exhistance and see the diverse people of Lionel's world for the human beings that they are.   (This is perhaps best illustrated in the person of Lionel himself.  When we first meet him, he is covered by layers of clothing and a mask.  Throughout the movie, the layers are graduallly stripped away  until we see him as she has always seen him.)  What others see as ugly and frightening, she simply sees as glorious variety, the limited pseudo-reality that had penned her in suddenly lifted to reveal something far richer.

Even as we watch Diane blossom, we also watch the discomfort of her parents, her husband and one of her two daughters, as she tries to show them the discoveries that have brought her joy and inspiration.  (Some of the illusions she has had to sacrifice to become truly herself were not solely her own illusions.)  She shows them that happiness does not necessarily only come from living a dollhouse life, or being "normal".  That normal is an illusion, blinders that keep one from seeing a wider world.  That family does not only mean a picture postcard of a husband and wife with 2.5 kids, but can also (and sometimes moreso) mean kindred spirits, blood ties being immaterial without that.

They reject her for this, at different points.  The parents never really approved of her in the first place.  The daughter storms from the room.  The husband turns accusatory and demands that she leave everything that has brought her joy and come back to heel.  And here we see the biggest lost illusion of all:  the illusion of their love for her.  Had it been real, compromise and acceptance would have been the rule of the day, and joy in her joy, (things which are shown by her younger daughter). However, a love built on illusions can itself only be an illusion of love. 

They are not bad, for all this, one feels.  Simply confused, and lost, and afraid.

It is roughly there that the movie leaves off.  Her true self unwelcome , what can she do but go out and make a new place for herself in the world?  To do otherwise--to go back to living a lie and simply being a screen for them to project their illusions upon--would be like amputating her wings after having at last grown them. Having finally learned to love herself, that would be impossible.  We leave her wiser (and perhaps a bit wearier) for her battles with her family and herself, grown from child to woman, going forward to become a person who revolutionized photography as an artform. 

Of course, this is all just my interpretation of it, and all interpretations are subjective. If anyone else has seen it, I'd be curious to know what you thought. /:-)

*ahem*

I would like to direct your attention to this post by froudgoblin. Most excellent advice. :-)

Also:

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(I knew there was a reason why 13 was my lucky number!)