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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead possums. The flight attendant stops her and says, "I'm sorry, ma'am, there's only one carrion allowed per passenger." APRIL FOOL! The preceding passage wasn't your real horoscope, but rather a Zen koan designed to scramble your brain so that you'd be receptive to your real horoscope, which goes as follows: Two Eskimos were sitting in a kayak. They were cold, so they lit a fire right there. The boat sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

That's why you bring two kayaks ;-P