Sep. 21st, 2006

:-?

Sep. 21st, 2006 01:58 am
litharriel: (zabki by Litharriel)
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
One historian has figured out that during the last three and a half millennia, humans have been at peace throughout the world for only 230 years--less than seven percent of the time. How would you rate your own personal proportions of war and peace, Pisces? I certainly hope you're serene, centered, and secure far more than seven percent of your life. But whether or not you are, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to boost your average dramatically. The actions you take and the attitudes you adjust could set in motion changes that will make peace a more common everyday experience. How hard you willing to work to establish a Pax Pisces?
litharriel: (pirate king by yaoi_onna)
<td align="center"> Litharriel --
[noun]:

A master blogger

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


There appears to be an add above this quiz for finding "Macedonia's sexiest women, men and couples" .... Does anyone else find that vaguely odd? Ah well, first one was a bit boring, let's see what else I get...

<td align="center"> Litharriel --
[noun]:

An alien

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


/:-)

<td align="center"> Litharriel --
[noun]:

A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


Y'know the really funny thing is, I've actually considered writing a book like that :-?

<td align="center"> Litharriel --
[adjective]:

Fuzzy to the touch

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


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No comment....
litharriel: (candlelight by aurorasfate)
Y'know, this bill smacks of something personal, to me... I bet our dear Mr. Davenport found his wife with one and discovered she'd been faking all these years...:-?

The War on Orgasms

Category:
Posted on: April 25, 2006 5:47 PM, by Ed Brayton

This is one of those monumentally idiotic ideas that just makes me stare with jaw agape at the notion that a legislator would seriously propose it, much less that it would pass. A state rep in South Carolina by the name of Ralph Davenport has submitted a bill tha would ban the sale of sex toys:

The South Carolina bill, proposed by Republican Rep. Ralph Davenport, would make it a felony to sell devices used primarily for sexual stimulation and allow law enforcement to seize sex toys from raided businesses.

But here's my favorite part of the article:

Rep. Davenport, who is from Spartanburg County, did not return several messages Friday to talk about his bill, which was introduced last month.

Of course not. What on earth would he say? I would love to hear him try to explain why this bill is necessary. Are people using powerful vibrators to hold up liquor stores? Exactly what governmental interest is served by banning the sale of dildos? This idiot couldn't even begin to make a coherent case for it and he knows it. But that doesn't matter because three states - Texas, Alabama and Mississippi - already have laws that ban the sale of sex toys.

How the hell did such a law actually pass two legislative bodies and get signed by a governor in three different states? On what possible pretext? There are some positions that are so breathtakingly idiotic and ridiculous that taking them should render you unfit even to vote, much less to hold public office, and this is one of them. This is every bit as moronic as the boneheads in Congress renaming french fries "freedom fries" in the cafeteria. They should be drawn and quartered, tarred and feathered, ridden out of town on a rail and in all other ways humiliated for rank stupidity above and beyond the call of duty. And so should anyone who votes for them ever again. In fact, I suggest that we set up a Hall of Shame for bad ideas. The first induction class will be these laws and Gerald Allen's incredible bill in Alabama to ban all books written by or about gays from the state.

And I like this blog's suggestion that we set up an Office of National Dildo Control Policy. And further:

If the puritans of the South Carolina legislature are successful in criminalizing the pursuit of kinkyness, drug prohibition may give us some warning signs of what to expect. Lucrative black markets for pleasure gadgets will spring up overnight, putting armed salesmen on every urban corner. Sexually experimental youngsters will roam the streets looking for a fix, eventually coming across their first "gateway dildo" to harder plastics. Prisons will be clogged with people whose only crime was trying to relax with a hot bath, some candles, and 'Johnny Depp Junior' after a long day at work. Worst of all, shady opportunists will fashion vibrators out of cheap household appliances, maiming or killing unfortunate masturbators with electrical malfunctions.

Maybe we can even appoint a Dildo Czar; if we can get William Bennett away from the craps tables long enough, he'd be the perfect choice. And of course, we'll have to outlaw "dildo paraphernalia" too; anyone caught with KY jelly will be booked for suspicion. Remember - if vibrators are outlawed, only outlaws will have vibrators.

Oy vey....

Sep. 21st, 2006 03:32 am
litharriel: (dark queen by Litharriel)
And amen again!

The Omnipotence of Homosexuality

Category: Gay Rights
Posted on: July 25, 2006 2:38 PM, by Ed Brayton

It always amuses me just how powerful the anti-gay loonies think homosexuality is. It's so powerful that it causes the very tectonic plates to crash together, causing earthquakes in San Francisco. It causes the weather patterns to change, causing hurricanes in Florida and New Orleans. And all of this, of course, accompanied by lots and lots of death and suffering for innocent (i.e. straight) people. One half expects to see a gay superhero who takes his heroic form by yelling "By the power of Garland!" at the top of his lungs.

Bartholomew, as usual, is on top of the latest developments in the bizarro world occupied by the truly whacked fundamentalists in all three major monotheistic religions, particularly in Israel. And to no one's surprise, they're blaming the war with Hezbollah and Hamas on the upcoming gay pride event in Jerusalem. Speaking for the Christian nutballs, it's Christine Darg of Exploit Ministries:

Military events in Israel are now likely to force the cancellation of the World Pride homosexual desecration of Jerusalem next month.

Believers in Israel and all over the world have been bombarding Heaven for God to intervene. . ..But sometimes God answers in ways that nobody wants. War is never pleasant, but its security demands take precedence over something as frivolous as a gay parade.

Coming to the plate for the Jewish nutballs, it's Pinchas Winston, quoted in the Worldnutdaily:

Are Israel's troubles in the Gaza Strip and Lebanon and the Hezbollah rockets slamming daily into major Israeli population centers here a result of the Jewish state's tacit support for a homosexual parade slated for next month in Jerusalem?

Some rabbis seem to think so, and they are attempting to block the event from taking place in Judaism's holiest city.

"Why does this war break out this week, all of sudden with little warning? Because this is the exact week the Jewish people are trying to decide whether the gay pride parade should take place in Jerusalem or Tel Aviv," Pinchas Winston, a noted author, rabbi and lecturer based in Jerusalem told WND...

"This [parade] is an attack against God himself," Winston said. "God has told the Jewish people, 'If you are not going to fight for my honor, you will be forced to fight for your own honor.'"

Batting third for the Jewish nutballs is Lazer Brody, whose name sounds like a pro wrestler:

Lazer Brody, an author and dean of the Breslov Rabbinical College in Ashdod, Israel, concurred with Winston.

"When God's presence is in the camp, nothing can happen to the Jewish people," Brody stated. "But If the Jewish people bring impurity into the camp of Israel, this chases away God's presence."...

Before becoming a rabbi, Brody served for many years in the Israeli army, where he fought in combat missions in Beirut during Israel's incursion into Lebanon in the early 1980's. He said the public display of homosexuality in Jerusalem "soils the camp of Israel with impurity, and pushes away the divine presence and protection."

Wow! Gays are so powerful that the mere anticipation of their arrival even chases out the Almighty himself! Obviously, someone needs to bottle this and develop some God Repellant spray. If only it would chase away some of his followers...

"The Torah is the ultimate book of human rights, giving each individual the right to free choice," said Brody. "What a person does behind closed doors is at one's own risk; but to partake of that behavior in public spreads the impurity to the entire camp."

Oh, of course. The ultimate book of human rights - I mean, unless you count that whole "kill the non-virgin females" thing and the "stone gays to death" thing. Other than that, it's practically an Amnesty International handbook. And then there's this little counterfactual that doesn't seem to have registered with the halfwits:

The World Pride event previously was held in 2000 in Rome, where it attracted about a quarter of a million participants. Images of the Rome festivities, featured on various homosexual websites, show throngs of shirtless men in shorts and bikini briefs congregated on the streets, some of them holding hands.

Well gosh, why didn't something horrible happen in Rome in 2000? Why didn't Switzerland suddenly invade Italy or earthquakes hit? I mean, you had men holding hands right there in the streets! God must have fled the scene and gone somewhere far away, lifting his protection from the Holy City of Catholicism. Why didn't the Vatican get hit with an earthquake, or swarms of locusts attack the Sistine Chapel?

And batting cleanup, representing the huge contingent of American nutballs, it's Yehuda Levin:

Meanwhile, Yehuda Levin, a member of the Rabbinical Alliance of America, has come to Israel specifically to prevent the homosexual celebration from taking place. He said a homosexual parade is akin to a parade of "prostitutes promoting prostitution, or adulterers encouraging others to try adultery at least once in their life."

"Israel is the Holy Land, not the homo-land," Levin told WND...

Like some other rabbis here, Levin believes that there is a direct correlation between the homosexual parade scheduled to take place in Jerusalem and the recent onslaught of rockets raining from Lebanon and Gaza.

Citing Leviticus [18:22-28], Levin said the Torah relates to Israel' current conflict.

Leviticus states, "You shall not lie down with a male, as with a woman: this is an abomination. For the nations, whom I am sending away from before you, have defiled themselves with all these things. And the land became defiled, and I visited its sin upon it, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. ... For the people of the land who preceded you, did all of these abominations, and the land became defiled. And let the land not vomit you out for having defiled it, as it vomited out the nation that preceded you.'"

Said Levin, "The terrorists, the leaders of Israel's enemies are working for the destruction of Israel, to wipe the Jewish people off the map."

Levin believes their efforts are succeeding due to what he calls sexual promiscuity in the land of Israel.

And here's another one of those little counterfactuals that destroys the logic of their argument, but appears to have escaped their notice:

Levin notes that holding a gay pride parade in Israel is not a new idea. "For years, local gay parades were held in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem," he said.

Then God's veil of protection should have been lifted for years now, eh? I mean, surely God isn't less offended by indigenous gayness than by imported gayness, right? Oh hell, let's not mince words: these people are insane. They are so blinded by their bigotry and their brain-freezing religious fervor that they are utterly incapable of holding a rational position on this or any other subject.

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