(posted by the illustrious Aureantes, in lieu of an article posted in Hyperlucidity)
"[Hmm....well, this turned into quite a diatribe, I'm warning you now,
and more pointed in some ways than what's in the article I'm
responding to. Nevertheless, do feel free to respond, whether you
agree or not...
"Seeing as this guy has a polemic already /published/ on the subject
here, I'm inclined to use the proverbial grain of salt on anything
general he asserts, especially when he jumps onto the topic of
alternative medicine as self-deception....he's wrong on that, but so
is most of conventional medical science--though admittedly the field
is rather schizoid with *both* sides not knowing what they're really
dealing with.
"But...this does raise the matter of something that I *have* noticed a
lot of in the world, like any observant people-watcher -- that very
often the people that are most adamant about their self-esteem and
confidence are the ones least-qualified to make much of themselves,
and the ones who *are* intelligent and talented and have a lot of
personal assets don't seem to really recognise what they have. Or to
put it across the board in talk-show terms, those who think they're
all that will take any encouragement they can on it, whether it's
actually true or not in any useful way. And then, people who are
their own worst critics and need to have a firmer estimation of their
own self-worth often tend to simply not believe anything that comes
in purely positivistic packages. Not to mention that most people on
that level of self-sonsciousness are also quite wary of *paying* to
get the message that they're good, fine, whole, perfect, etc...like
paying someone to be your friend...and how do you know they'll
actually tell you the truth, if they're doing it for the money?
"It's an industry -- and therefore it is a prostitute, because it is
the work of selling standardized affirmations and structure and hope
for a price estimated far beyond any practical value to the
consumer. It preys on the gullible, makes flakes more flaky,
exploits the dependency of the mentally-dependent, and conveys a
false sense of competency for following someone else's plan, using
someone else's name-brand system to solve your personal problems,
making more of a trademark than of truth.
"That in itself is "immoral" and false, though that really doesn't
matter if you just understand that it's a business sector like any
other and treat it accordingly. "Caveat emptor," afterall--which is
what a self-critical person does anyway. All those full-of-
themselves people will just take every encouragement as an excuse to
be outspokenly "themselves" and shove it in people's faces, blaming
them as haters if they don't immediately recognize their inner beauty
and worth and dignity and all that -- without, of course, having
necessarily done anything to show those lovely human traits. Without
thinking they *have* to do or be anything more. I certainly don't
believe in encouraging them in that delusion...though, they're only
buying what appeals to them, afterall, and that's their right as free
consumers in this society.
"It is immensely frustrating, though, that it is so easy in modern
American culture (it's only a model) to arrive at an inverse model of
mental discernment relative to self-esteem, where commercial
susceptibility and compliancy has heightened receptivity to messages
of utter indiscrimination of mind, where parents have been instructed
to be in literal awe of their Indigo children as messianic perfect-
love-channeling aliens, where the protectivism of mothers for
their "emotionally-sensitive" offspring has led to a gradual dumbing-
down of schools and juvenile life on the mental and physical levels,
lest anyone be challenged beyond their present means. Not much has
been done in recent years to teach kids how to grow up in terms of
*making* their skills and strengths outstanding -- though there is
much of teaching social topics such as peer leadership and group
communication and sharing and compliance and tolerance -- things that
do *not have any objectively-graded qualities to hold onto*.
"Okay....this itself, by the way, is the result of taking a trend too
far in the general sector, away from grading anything and everything
with a letter grade. Coming as a change from a punitively regimented
system, it was a positive idea in the 1960s and '70s that children
should not be labeled by their classroom rankings or academic tracks
and that the *process* of learning should be emphasized, not just the
proper result -- that this would make children feel motivated to do
well intrinsically, not just to achieve a satisfactory grade and
satisfy external rules.
"However...eventually it came to be seen as a right by parents that
nothing should *ever* be done to make their kids feel bad or inferior
or excluded or less capable than others. And that things must be
safe for all ages, and that means making the playgrounds practically
toddler-friendly and the conspicuous show of intellectual knowledge
or erudite culture an alien thing, all the more suspect for not being
able to be shared equally by all. Though, sports are always
considered essential, and physical fitness standards are currently a
constant of public school evaluations -- mesomorphs being an always-
desired natural resource to a military superpower and its law-
enforcement/security needs -- so physical strength as a raw asset has
never been degraded like other outstanding inequalities. And in the
terms of a top-name university education, the pressure to deliver
students good grades without too much real effort has less to do with
the demand of equality for all than with the expectation that
students should get what they pay for, so to speak -- education, like
everything else, being treated as a commodity, where paying the
tuition guarantees all the benefits of a diploma.
"Children's self-esteem is initially a matter of what they're told
they can do and recognized for doing well -- and this varies
initially according to the kind of attention they get from their
parents and caretakers. I can attest from having taught and worked
with children myself that there is strong pressure in the classroom
to stay positive in evaluation, and to emphasize socialization rather
than achievement. By the time that children reach junior high and
high school, their social skills and interactions are often at a far
higher level of complexity and apparent priority than their
intellectual or technical skills, unless they are asocial/ostracized
*because* of preferring those latter things. Those children do not
get the social reinforcement the others do from each other, and are
sometimes even told to tone themselves down and blend in to be
more "considerate" of others, while getting no general recognition
themselves for what they have. They are the ones who need to be
reminded of what they possess and can achieve, yet because of the
priority on sociability, all-roundedness and 'people-skills' they are
often marginalized or neglected, and don't know how to ask for what
they need. Meaning that the *most* sensitive ones, and the ones most
likely to need emotional support in order to fulfill their high
potential as adults, are the ones conditioned not to seek attention
or recognition for their talents or for themselves. The ones who
have already become used to getting positive social attention get
more attention, and those who haven't tend to both mistrust and
actually deflect it from themselves.
"If there *were* an actual psychological commission on self-help in
adulthood, this would be certainly where it's most needed, not in
bolstering the egos of those who need only the plainest and simplest
suggestions to go for what they want in life. The insidiousness of
real and ingrained personal doubt requires more subtlety, more
insight, more understanding...and a lot less shameless selling.
"As adults, left to our own devices, we follow what we feel most
strongly inclined to follow, however consciously or subconsciously
those instincts are formed. Those who were raised to self-criticise
continue to self-criticise; those who were raised to fight or to
maneuver for social approval and status do that as well. People who
are used to following trends and looking to outside leaders continue
to do so, and so buying/following the "right" book/program/workshop
has helped give unearned validation to a great many people who think
they're the greatest thing ever to hit the physical plane. One can
also blame the famous poem "Desiderata" for that one --
http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html -- as a result of its
downplaying haste and competition and comparison to others (not bad
advice in itself, surely, and assumedly good for one's blood
pressure) and emphasing innate personal worth, many Americans think
that *all* they need is self-acceptance -- when very often that
simply translates into unwillingness to make any superior effort for
one's ambitions, or into an undermining of worldly ambition itself,
as if it were a modern sin that must be peeled away altogether.
Frankly, having read the poem itself, I think it gives a lot more
respect to the "dull and ignorant" than to the bright and
restless...
"Two things do spring to mind with this, one modern and one over two
centuries old. The short story "Harrison Bergeron" by Kurt Vonnegut
(I've mentioned it before, I know), and one of the chapters of "The
Magus" by Francis Barrett, published 1801, in which he asserts that:
"_We must, therefore, in every work and application of things, affect
vehemently, imagine, hope, and believe strongly, for that will be a
great help. And it is verified amongst physicians, that a strong
belief, and an undoubted hope, and love towards the physician,
conduce much to health, yea more sometimes than the medicine itself;
for the same that the efficacy and virtue of the medicine works, the
same doth the strong imagination of the physician work, being able to
change the qualities of the body of the sick, especially when the
patient places much confidence in the physician, by that means
disposing himself for the receiving the virtue of the physician, and
physic. Therefore, he that works in magic must be of a constant
belief, be credulous, and not at all doubt of the obtaining of the
effect; for as a firm and strong belief doth work wonderful things,
although it be in false works--so distrust and doubting doth
dissipate and break the virtue of the mind of the worker, which is
the medium betwixt both extremes; whence it happens that he is
frustrated of the desired influence of the superiors, which could not
be enjoined and united to our labours without a firm and solid virtue
of our mind._
http://www.sacred-texts.com/grim/magus/ma134.htm"Or, to summon the same sentiment in a more cynical form, "The best
lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate
intensity" (William Butler Yeats, "The Second Coming")--though, this
isn't about that. Point is, you can actually get a fair (or unfair)
way in life on thinking you're the most perfect and entitled creature
in the universe, because confidence does have influence in the
world.
"Or, you could just be really, really annoying and people would hate
and avoid you for being so full of cheery sunshine and affirmations
and pre-programmed tripe....there's always that.
"Short form is, confidence isn't always given to those who need it,
and a lot of people have it who could stand to do quite a bit more
work on bettering themselves. Hidden talents are one thing --
nonexistent ones are another. Believing in oneself isn't devoid of
positive *potential* -- as those who lambast alternative medicine
would do well to remember, considering the acknowledged power of
the "placebo effect" -- but treating the concept of self-esteem on an
indiscriminate basis in schools and a tantalizingly meretricious one
in the adult commercial world ("Buy the book to learn how!"--"Attend
our life-changing experiential workshop!") only tends to reinforce
the trend of undercutting the (positively) exceptional who see
themselves with more flaws and shadows than self-help books take the
risk of addressing, and encouraging the personally mediocre who are
perfectly willing to only see what they want to see -- and to demand
the world reward them for being just themselves as a nominal virtue.
"Okay, here's the article already... --Aurey"
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