All in fun, so don't try to burn me at the stake or anything, k? ;-p

Listed below are some signs that your child may have gone astray from the craft. Christianity is a very mainstream and often dangerous religion that many young people are prone to participating in. The Christian culture leads young susceptible minds in to an imagined world of evil, darkness and violence, often with the delusion that everything is a plot from satan or homosexuals. Please seek immediate attention through communication, walks in nature and straight up good parenting to rid your child of Christian temptations. If Five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

Wears excessive nice clothing, especially on sundays.

Wears band or Rock t-shirts depicting christian symbols or phrases

Wears excessive make-up and perfume (if girl) or excessive cologne (if boy), especially on Sundays

Wears crosses in plain sight, including jeweled crosses, or begins to wear a scapular

Begins to speak loudly against tattoos and piercings with no provocation

Listens to Christian Rock bands such as DC Talk or Jars of Clay (they often use their influence on young minds to get them to join churches, please DISCARD ANY ALBUMS IMMEDIATELY)

Begins associating with other young people who dress in nice clothes and/or cannot stop talking about veiled references to the bible.

Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities such as spending time with the coven, going on walks in nature, tending the family herb garden, or family outings in general.

Shows an increasing interest in things like salvation, Jesus, the bible, the 10 commandments or anything else that involves Christianity.

Eats bread, believing it is human flesh

Drinks Wine, believing it is human blood

Becomes depressed/suicidal about trying to get to heaven

Dresses much more modestly, expresses concerns about others being skyclad, or partakes in any discussion of why the naked human body is disgusting and sinful. (This is Christian ritual that uses guilt to detract from individuality and a connection with yourself and nature.
Please sit down and talk with your children immediately!)

Complains of Boredom (especially when they are at home on sundays)

Sleeps too excessively or not enough

Is excessively sleepy early in the evening

Demands an unusual amount of privacy

Spends large amounts of time alone or with friends reading the bible

Requests rides to areas where there is a large number of churches, without being dropped off at one. (this is so your child can sneak in to a church and receive garbled information with others)

Insists on spending a large amount of time with other children of their age in "classes" with an unknown adult supervising them.

Begins to talk non stop about a single authority figure and his words over yours, some examples include:

Tells you that you will burn in hell

Tells friends you are a witch and will burn in hell

Eats too little food, usually mumbling about it being tainted.

Eats christian related foods. Eating only fish on friday during their lent season is a good example of this.

Drinks wine believing it's blood (this is a dangerous practice that can lead to a belief that bread is human flesh too) (oh yeah, we mentioned that, but it is worth a mention again.)

Watches the 700 club on the television. (ask your coven members for any ideas as to what to watch, or even better, watch TV with your children so you can decide for yourself)

Denounces all video games and role playing as a satanic plot to take over the world.

Uses the computer excessively to go to christian websites/chatrooms, and even gets a bible quote of the day sent to your e-mail.

Constantly makes a sign of the cross and bows head in silence when seeing or hearing normal family conversation and activity.

Begins to dance like a tin-man or tin-woman because anything else is provocative and unmodest.

Expresses loudly that sex is sinful and a tool of the devil (despite the fact that if it didn't happen, they wouldn't be here)

Expresses that any form of self pleasure is sinful and will damn you to hell.

Loudly denounces all homosexual/bisexual people as evil, sinful and satan worshippers bent on world domination

Pursues dangerous cult sects of christianity such as Mormonism, Calvary Chapel, or any other sect that requires an unhealthy almost constant contact and interaction with the group to maintain membership.

Wears pins, stickers or anything else with these various phrases: "WWJD?" "Jesus Saves" "Jesus loves me" "I love Jesus" or "Born Again"

Claims to be Christian

If five or more of these apply to your child, please, intervene immediately. The Christian culture is dangerous and paranoia thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, please take the time to communicate with your child and take an active role